How to Determine the Best Diaper
Sadly but truly, no expert can tell you which among the dozens of diapers really and truly qualifies as the “best.” Legions of experts will take their best and most persuasive shots, much like presidential candidates and pundits during the primary season, but you ultimately make the choice. You are the ultimate arbiter of the “best” diaper. Making the decision does not, however, qualify you as an expert. Hundreds of posers have made that tragic mistake. You decide which diaper is best for you and your baby. That’s it. No pundit privileges.
Ask yourself a few pertinent, poignant questions that have little or nothing to do with the environment or your baby’s comfort. How reliable are your washer and dryer? How old are your washer and dryer? Does your washing machine connect with some kind of graywater recovery system? Do you understand why a graywater recovery system matters in this discussion? How many loads of laundry move through the machines right now, and how will introduction of diapers influence everyone else’s steady demand for clean, fresh, fluffy clothing? How proficient are you with the laundry machinery? Parlez-vous Downy Ball? Are you fluent enough in Downy Ball that you can explain how it becomes a metaphor for a dutiful husband’s behavior? Would you ever be silly or fashion-conscious enough to iron your baby’s diapers? How many cycles does it take to get your baby’s nappies truly clean?
Those are just the most urgent laundry-related questions; where would you like to start?
Ask yourself a few more pertinent, poignant questions, assessing where you stand in The Great Diaper Debate. These, too, have very little to do with the environment or your baby’s comfort, but they will hold considerable sway in your decision about the best diaper. How dexterous are you with your left or “opposite” hand? Can you work your blackberry and change a diaper simultaneously? To which will you give preference and precedence? Does your business wardrobe consist mainly of stain-resistant fabrics, or are you familiar with ScotchGard? Do you multi-task well? For example, can you discuss the upcoming acquisition of your major corporate rival with your boss while you change a diaper and instruct your middle-school daughter that she absolutely cannot go to school in that outfit; can you do all of these things while paying attention to Heidi Collins and checking your 401(k)?
If any of these questions caused you a moment’s pause and reflection, you probably should go with disposables. Still, you ultimately determine which diaper is the “best” for you and your baby.
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